Hello, I'm a mentally unstable person who has learned to speak. I'm just kidding.
This time, I would like to write about the theme of "words" to those who wish to be loved.
The worst kind of person is a mentally unstable person who has only learned words.
People who are easily swayed by their emotions can verbalize their emotional opinions more than others, turning into power-hungry mentally unstable people who push through outrageous opinions.
However, they have only learned words and have no knowledge of other people's feelings or common sense, so when they are no longer able to use words, they become extremely violent.
From a young age, I loved Japanese classes and reading, but a combination of factors including my upbringing made me view adults as hostile and wary, and a rebellious spirit developed. On top of that, because I only learned words first, I became a talkative and unlovable child when the time came, and I made a lot of mistakes.
This is a mentally unstable person who has just learned words.
Even though he is a teenager, he is very shallow and immature.
I think one of the reasons for this was that I didn't know how to honestly depend on others.
Reading was the perfect hobby for me, as I was in a hurry to live life, wanting to quickly understand and put into words the tangled emotions I had. But when I became a high school student, I discovered the joy of speaking words that were rounded, gentle, concise, and stripped away from length, difficulty, and sharpness.
I'm really glad I met such good friends.
For me, who had always had roundabout and difficult words in my head, speaking directly was not embarrassing.
I felt relieved that nothing was being concealed.
It's free to express feelings of respect and love.
And best of all, I felt relieved that I was free to say whatever I wanted about my friend and that I was not causing any trouble or hurting anyone.
I had little time to do whatever I wanted and be honest with myself, so expressing my love for my friends may have been a way for me to release stress.
Books helped me put into words everything about my life, my emotions, and even the invisible parts of my life, and I felt like they were supporting me, but if I don't sometimes come back to the real world and draw lines, I end up seeing too much.
I thought that being able to see would make life easier, but it's not all advantages, as I can now sensitively verbalize even negative events, which makes me dislike more things and more easily hurt.
We also need to remember to use the emotions and words that we have memorized to benefit others, and to use them to derive fulfillment from our own work and other pursuits.
I often see people drift away from someone who has learned a language just for their own sake.
More than anything, what I found most painful to watch was the mentally unstable person who didn't know how to speak.
Because they do not understand words or other people's feelings, they hurt others with their easy sharpness.
Even as adults, we find ourselves saying simple insults that we were taught not to say to others in compulsory education.
They say it to someone's face, especially when they want to express their intentions or when they are emotional.
Because they are labeled as someone who is difficult to talk to, even if they want to be with someone, if they can't find anyone who understands them and supports them, they are unable to put their feelings into words and are unable to have serious discussions or pleasant conversations.
When they are young, people think, "He speaks in youth slang," but as they get older, their true nature becomes apparent and it seems really tough.
Being delicately lonely is like the opposite of "a tiger with a golden club"...that's how it feels.
Sensitive people are destined to have to put in more effort than most people for something as simple as "breathing," so I understand that this inequality can make people feel sad, hopeless, or frustrated, but everyone is born with some worries, so if you run away thinking you're the only one who's pitiful, you'll end up like the person above, so it's a sobering reminder.
It must be quite difficult to live with a complex mind but lacking education and popularity.
He is aware that he has a complex mind, so perhaps he is satisfied with himself and his narcissism is an escape from his lack of words.
A fleeing narcissist is contradictory and embarrassing.
Is this the vicarious embarrassment that is currently in the news?
The ability to express things in words can be helpful, but if you're not an honest person, you can abuse it, so it's difficult.
The ability to express things in words is a hobby and a weapon that can be acquired for free, but it can be dangerous if used incorrectly.
We live in the age of social media, and young people are becoming more delicate and sensitive.
If you don't have feelings behind your words, you'll just be a shallow person who's good at talking. This is what they mean when they say actions speak louder than words.
Just reading a lot of books at home won't teach you anything about the world.
The more eloquent a person is, the more you can tell what kind of person they are by what they say in situations where they have to speak directly, by flipping through the pages one by one.
If you have to weigh learning a language against understanding other people's feelings, I think it's overwhelmingly better to prioritize the latter.
To put it in very simple terms: do you prefer a kind idiot or a clever bully?
If it were me, I would prefer the former.
If we asked this question to businessmen working on the front lines in the office, we'd probably get a different answer, but we asked them from the perspective of which one they would prefer to be friends with.
If you want to succeed in business, you need to be a little bit cunning, so it's difficult.
Forget about that for a moment, because we're talking about mentally unstable people who can't breathe in business districts.
I've said a lot, but I believe words come after emotions and experiences.
People can only change by loving things, people, experiences, the past, and themselves, rather than by being loved.
In order to understand words and emotions, you have no choice but to put your books away and go out into the streets.
When you fall in love with someone, you want to put your feelings into words; when you eat something delicious or see your favorite artist, you want to put your feelings into words; when you experience something and want to tell someone about it, you want to put it into words.
That's why otakus have such a high ability to express themselves in words.
Right in front of me was an example that showed me that love can change people.
Author: Aya Akagi
Currently serializing the column "Wandering Literary Lover" in FREEZINE